Line Followers

That was one of the most simple and frustrating projects in my career...

But that's remind me... I think that our actual school model is building to convert people in some kind of machines, only capable to receive orders and execute them, just like robots... you don't need think or be creative, follow the order and everything will be ok.

You can observe this phenom in the office works, it's just like you learn in the school, all the time there is someone to tell you what you need to do... It's a very sad situation... But what it really bothers me it is the fact that people are OK with that! That level of conformity makes me upset, I hate it! I hate all those people who are able to do much more and they don't just because they are already good, they have money and that's all what they need... Be human it's just repugnant.

Why? It's hard? It's impossible? It's too much for you? You really don't care about it? I mean, for sure are the same kind of person who doesn't have interesting in change the world, I am OK, what is the big deal? Why should I worry about the others or for the nature?

Think about it... that's all what you can do? That's all what you want for the rest of your life?

If there is a line there, are you going to follow it forever? Haven't you a minimum curiosity about the rest of the world? What else are far away?

My robot follows the line sometimes... Yeah... I was young and I didn't know anything about life... or electronics...  Nowadays it's simple I can see it... At least I think I don't boren to follow the line.

The changing plan

At the beginning of my conscious mind, probably when I had 13 or 14 years, I was looking for the meaning of life, why I am here? And already from that point I was a very egocentric person.... And for that my original plan was: I am going to change the world! I am going to be someone very important in the story of humanity, I am going to revolutionize the world!

Then time pass, I talk with other persons, with the same plan, it was nice... But then certain competence start on me, that i wanna be the very best that no one ever was... oh wait... And then the plan change: To be someone very important, very rich and powerful, and then I will be able to change the world!!

The next phase was more simple... I was in the university, I realize that make something important for the world will be very hard, and the science is very expensive! So, the first step should be be rich! Then make some important advance in science... and maybe that could help to the humanity...

And just before I ended my bachelor, I was being more simple, the plan change: I only want to make some innovator product, and maybe that will be useful... in some way.

Now I don't know, maybe I just want to have a good life, good money, live experiences (because Millenals), and that's all, maybe be happy... just maybe...  And, if it's possible, make some science.... and with some luck, some of my experiements could be important... and maybe then... the world be changed.

You choose... poorly...

Well, now doesn't matter!

Ok every choise you make, brings consecuences, you know it! And every time you have to leave something more, you lose something to try to win something else. You have to take riks in your life, because if you don't, it will be boring.

Well, if you choise brings you happyness, congratulation! The post ends for you!

Now for the bitter and sad persons, I know that feel bro! I can understand pretty well what is the frustration, what is think a lot about a decision and finally when you get enough corage, it results in a very bad decision... Ya ya.. Everyone says the same "If you learn something it wasn't a bad decision", well guess what? It's a bad decision, and it cost to you something and a someway (Comodin words win).

Ok, now what? Yoy plan get sad for the rest of your life? Pff! What a shame of you! Go on, keep living, confront the situation, solve the problem! Or are you dead? Well if that is the case I'm sorry for you, it was a really bad situation and you don't even learn anything! But hey! Others will learn from your mistakes! Well... If it was something public... If not... Ok forget that.

My point is, you need to continue with your life, yeah you have right to be sad.... But just for a moment! Then it's time to the next, the next gamble! Life is excited! You need more mistakes in your life, it's good material for inspiration, the desperation is always a good motivation stuff... I hate it... But it works.

Your instinct for survive will be activated! Use it for bigger challenges!

Don't surrender yet! Well actually, surrend in that thing, and change for another better.

It's ok, you have time, you are alive. it worth!

What do you bet for a very happy day?

The dungeon master

Well that was a game I really didn't understand, I mean, the rules were very clear. But the gameplay was very strange!

I had my role, and I was having an adventure. I had my stats, and they were OK, I had infinite mana, I don't know why... The dungeon was normal, but the puzzles were confused. It always felt like I was passing everyting, winning the game, but the rules were "you can't win, no matter what happens"... So I always thougt I was going to dead easily, but no... I never was killed, by any enemy, that was weird! But at the same time, it was an endless game! So... that didn't make sense! I would preferd play another game, it would be more easy if the game was ending as soon as possible.

I was very good in my role, I was improving myself, I leved up, and the game becomed a really important part of me, that was because the dungeon master chose that it was it that way! That's absurd, why should be that important, if it really doesn't have that value! Nevertheless, I continued playing, because I was curious and I was very focus to know if it been posible to win (spoiler alert: the rules were the rules).

That's why I felt cheated! That is really bad game, why did I play that?! why the dungeon master never end with it?! Well, I have a theory... If you think about it, the dungeon master needs a player to play... In the middle time, I was like a toy, a temporal patch, a utility knife... But it was obvious that I didn't play that forever, I mean, I could! But I didn't want it.

I prefer write my own story, It would be more exciting and more funny. I am always open to sugestions.

Less human

Ok, I have to admit it, I am the problem. I hate everyone (like always), I there is a lot of thing about what I can complain.

Yes, I miss all of that, I miss you... And now I understand that there is not much difference, about my actitude, I still think a lot about it. Aparently I really cared about you. But now I have to be objective (like always)...

Maybe it's not you what I really miss, it's only having a person, yeah I now, that sounds very bad, I am heartless and bla bla, but I have not finished yet! The problem is that I really miss care about you, to listen about your day or your cotidian problems. I miss the sound of your voice and even the structure of your sentences (yep, everyone write different in some aspects). But let's back to the humanless nature, I miss have someone to care about it, and you was perfect for that role! Don't misunderstand me, you have a lot of "oportunity areas" for improvement.

I hate this situation, but little by little, I start the demolition of all of that. It's hard, everytime I remember...

Now I fell less human, like I really hate emotions and stuff, I want to destroy humanity again and maybe stole the christmas and things like that. Maybe I never was very human, and I just build artificial emotions, but hey, for me they were very real.

I don't regred been an artificial human, it felt nice. But now, well it's a war in my head, "hope vs hate", is very interesting.

At the end, I know it's dead, but it's hard to admit it. I just hope you are OK, maybe I will never know it, and for that is just a wish.

Now I am in that pahse when I don't want to feel anything anymore in life... a little dramatic (like always)... Humans why?!

It's everything about me

Yes, all what I hear it's about me.

Every story about a person it's a comparison with me, every time someone tell me about a new accomplished goal it's a possibility or challenge to me. If you made a plan future, I ask to myself what am I going to do at that time. I'm the only important person in my life. Well, after all I am only conscious of my reality, and that's the only thing I need to take care.

The society? No, that is not important to me, that's only part of my environment, when I born that was already there. I only learn how to survive and how to use it for my benefices, there was a time I tried to be a good citizen, but the people have horrible modals. So, again, I'm the only important, I will not make evil things, but I reduce my activities to achieve my own goals 

If I have a chance maybe I could make something good for other person, probably a person who I like it, a person who it will be useful for me, maybe it's a source of fun, jokes, good talks... 

Friends? Well the friendship it's a tool to make us feel better, more comfortable in this world, we need someone who can understand us (at least a part of us) and we need someone who have the patience to listen to us and even the smart enough to have an answer. It's very useful when we need talk about ourselves, or when we need another perspective, but in the end is only a tool. By the way we can have some kind of affection, but is more like a fear to lose them, and we try hard that our friends feel great with us. Because it's difficult to find persons who are capable to tolerate us. So if you are useful, I am going to keep you. But my priorities are more important than theirs, if my affection way doesn't work with them, well that is a problem, for them of course.

This is not pride, this is Reason. The most cold perspective that I have, the most honest panorama about relationship and people. We are responsible for what we feel and what we decided, the others' feelings it's their problems. If my lifestyle affect you, well you should keep distance. 

That's why you have to be careful with what you say to me.

Are you saying that you only like people because is nice? Yeah right, think about it

This is my pride

I am that voice whom tell that we are right, we are very valuable, and we don't need the opinion of anyone. Because we know what we do, our limits and which is our reality.

We are always  working to be stronger, smarter and even funnier than anyone else. Sometimes I need to be very cruel to make a point. I only want respect for us, I will fight and I will be mad if it's necessary. We know we always can be better and we deserve the best.

This is pride: I had let you do whatever you want, because I was curious of your existence. I hate you, you trampled me, you humiliated me, and the worse part, it was for nothing.

You are not worth it. That's what I think.

But for now, you are the living proof that I'm weak and fragile. I will work in solve the weakest point that you showed us. Further, you always remember me that I made a mistake. I don't need that in our life. I will show you, who I am, I will destroy your memory, I will demonstrate to us that we are worth more than this situation. It doesn't matter what happen to you in the future, because I only care about ourselves. Yes, it was not your fault, it was mine, but that is the point, we don't fail, so you will never exist.

This is pride: You only had one chance, and it's over.