The changing plan

At the beginning of my conscious mind, probably when I had 13 or 14 years, I was looking for the meaning of life, why I am here? And already from that point I was a very egocentric person.... And for that my original plan was: I am going to change the world! I am going to be someone very important in the story of humanity, I am going to revolutionize the world!

Then time pass, I talk with other persons, with the same plan, it was nice... But then certain competence start on me, that i wanna be the very best that no one ever was... oh wait... And then the plan change: To be someone very important, very rich and powerful, and then I will be able to change the world!!

The next phase was more simple... I was in the university, I realize that make something important for the world will be very hard, and the science is very expensive! So, the first step should be be rich! Then make some important advance in science... and maybe that could help to the humanity...

And just before I ended my bachelor, I was being more simple, the plan change: I only want to make some innovator product, and maybe that will be useful... in some way.

Now I don't know, maybe I just want to have a good life, good money, live experiences (because Millenals), and that's all, maybe be happy... just maybe...  And, if it's possible, make some science.... and with some luck, some of my experiements could be important... and maybe then... the world be changed.

You choose... poorly...

Well, now doesn't matter!

Ok every choise you make, brings consecuences, you know it! And every time you have to leave something more, you lose something to try to win something else. You have to take riks in your life, because if you don't, it will be boring.

Well, if you choise brings you happyness, congratulation! The post ends for you!

Now for the bitter and sad persons, I know that feel bro! I can understand pretty well what is the frustration, what is think a lot about a decision and finally when you get enough corage, it results in a very bad decision... Ya ya.. Everyone says the same "If you learn something it wasn't a bad decision", well guess what? It's a bad decision, and it cost to you something and a someway (Comodin words win).

Ok, now what? Yoy plan get sad for the rest of your life? Pff! What a shame of you! Go on, keep living, confront the situation, solve the problem! Or are you dead? Well if that is the case I'm sorry for you, it was a really bad situation and you don't even learn anything! But hey! Others will learn from your mistakes! Well... If it was something public... If not... Ok forget that.

My point is, you need to continue with your life, yeah you have right to be sad.... But just for a moment! Then it's time to the next, the next gamble! Life is excited! You need more mistakes in your life, it's good material for inspiration, the desperation is always a good motivation stuff... I hate it... But it works.

Your instinct for survive will be activated! Use it for bigger challenges!

Don't surrender yet! Well actually, surrend in that thing, and change for another better.

It's ok, you have time, you are alive. it worth!

What do you bet for a very happy day?

Less human

Ok, I have to admit it, I am the problem. I hate everyone (like always), I there is a lot of thing about what I can complain.

Yes, I miss all of that, I miss you... And now I understand that there is not much difference, about my actitude, I still think a lot about it. Aparently I really cared about you. But now I have to be objective (like always)...

Maybe it's not you what I really miss, it's only having a person, yeah I now, that sounds very bad, I am heartless and bla bla, but I have not finished yet! The problem is that I really miss care about you, to listen about your day or your cotidian problems. I miss the sound of your voice and even the structure of your sentences (yep, everyone write different in some aspects). But let's back to the humanless nature, I miss have someone to care about it, and you was perfect for that role! Don't misunderstand me, you have a lot of "oportunity areas" for improvement.

I hate this situation, but little by little, I start the demolition of all of that. It's hard, everytime I remember...

Now I fell less human, like I really hate emotions and stuff, I want to destroy humanity again and maybe stole the christmas and things like that. Maybe I never was very human, and I just build artificial emotions, but hey, for me they were very real.

I don't regred been an artificial human, it felt nice. But now, well it's a war in my head, "hope vs hate", is very interesting.

At the end, I know it's dead, but it's hard to admit it. I just hope you are OK, maybe I will never know it, and for that is just a wish.

Now I am in that pahse when I don't want to feel anything anymore in life... a little dramatic (like always)... Humans why?!