At this time, i could count my uncompleted tasks in life (even in the year), i only fail and fail again.
Probably is my fault for aim big targets, but it's people fault cause they say me that i can do it...
But is my fault again because i make they think than i'm good and smart (and handsome... shut up self stem), although it's they fault because they don't test me in a hard situation...
Anyway i have the guilt, i allow this affect me, all about this stuff depress me. Cause i'm not enough good for that people who say i am good in things. But i should not worry about what other people say about me. So, the problem is i can only disappoint myself...
I really want be better...
Internet says, you should only compare with your older you, maybe Internet is right. But it's hard.
I know what i can do, but maybe i am to lazy to do it, i can't blame other people for not push me to better things, maybe in my childhood, but now... I'm totally capable to do things.
"You can do anything, but you can't do everything". That phrase touches very depth in my thoughts.
So that mean, i need to choose things, and i need organize my time, and avoid distracting stuffs (like games and Internet because they have a big impact in my time and my reward mental system).
I hate myself in this moment. But, at the same time, i hate fail to people and myself, and i enjoy challenges... So, here i come.
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